Tidbits for Life with First Lady Darlene: Forgiveness

Happy New Year!! In my first post for 2021, I'd like to take some time to talk about forgiveness.

The Bible has plenty to say about forgiveness. ... The Greek word translated as “forgive” in the New Testament, aphiēmi, carried a wide range of meanings, including to remit (a debt), to leave (something or someone) alone, to allow (an action), to leave, to send away, to desert or abandon, and even to divorce.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

We are to trust God for justice and forgive the person who offended us. That does not mean we must forget the offense, however; usually, that's beyond our power. Forgiveness means releasing the other from blame, leaving the event in God's hands, and moving on. (Matthew 6: 14-15)

So just what is forgiveness? Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not? While making it clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you. Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life. Talk to someone you trust and open up about how hurt, sad or angry you may feel. Let your emotions out, and don't apologize for them. Don't withdraw or isolate yourself. Stay connected and feel the pain, even though it hurts. Talking with someone there to listen, the pain is more bearable.

Ask yourself as a Christian what feels better forgiveness or revenge? Would it not feel better to forgive than to spend the rest of your life thinking of how to get revenge towards someone? While forgiveness can help us feel better, the researchers conclude, it can also be a stressful process—one reason why choosing to forgive is so difficult.

I think we can all agree that it not easy to forgive if someone has done something to you that is unforgiveable or has done the unthinkable but, as Christians what would God have us do? HE said trust in him HE will help us through our forgiveness.

May God bless you and I hope I’ve said something to help you a tad bit!